


A History of Kisses

by shotgunsinlace



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Grinding, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-08
Updated: 2013-12-08
Packaged: 2018-01-04 02:33:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1075506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shotgunsinlace/pseuds/shotgunsinlace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After their rather awkward first kiss, Eren took charge of counting every single one that followed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A History of Kisses

**Author's Note:**

> The amount of oneshots I've birthed through the process of procrastination is surreal, tbh. Completely self-indulgent because I am a sucker for these two dweebs kissing. Un-beta'd; ye be warned.

The turning point of Eren’s perception of Levi occurs during a painfully nondescript evening. The rest of the Special Ops squad has long since turned in, leaving the two of them alone in the mess hall while Levi finishes his tea, to then take Eren to his cell.

Bored out of his wits, Eren starts to run today’s lessons across his head, mapping each sharp turn and steep drop Gunter had filled him in with. As a squad they must become a single entity, pulsing low and discreet as they move across the board. It’s a state they have already reached, but one that has been thrown askew with Eren’s arrival. So he practices day in and day out, in hopes that he’ll become the soldier he needs to be and not let either comrades or humanity down.

It’s a bittersweet thought that is easily interrupted by the light thump of a mug landing on a wooden table. Levi sighs, nearly imperceptible, with his eyes shut. If he’s tired, Eren isn’t at all surprised, but he is perplexed by the unintentional openness of the gesture.

He’s unsure when hero-worshipping slowly melted away into infatuation, but it’s easy to see why at a moment like this. Despite being odd-looking, he’s handsome, in an awkward sort of way that baffles him. Sleepy eyes and stunning cheekbones, and a neck that seems to have been made for kissing, there is nothing Eren doesn’t find appealing about him. Maybe his attitude is sour, and has a terrible sense of humor, and is far too crude, unapproachable, antisocial…

All right, so maybe Eren needs a little more to work with, but he _does_ like Levi an awful lot, despite the less appealing traits. Eren isn’t much of a catch himself. Sure, he’s been called cute in more than one occasion, but his personality leaves more to be desired. Brash, impulsive, loud – he’s everything Levi most likely hates, if he’s entirely honest with himself.

Eren is also reckless, and he blames his stupidity on that.

The timing is perfect; so perfect, in fact, that it’s the only reason why he even considers doing something so insane. The two of them are alone, Levi’s eyes are shut, so what does he have to lose?

His pride, apparently.

For the record, Eren does manage to take his mouth to Levi’s, but he miscalculates his momentum and ends up head-butting his commanding officer rather than kissing him. His front teeth ache enough to make him wince, but the twitch in Levi’s eye sends all but one feeling out the window: sheer horror.

To Eren’s surprise, and mild delight since he gets to keep all his limbs, he’s off the hook with a hissed “don’t you ever fucking do that again” and kitchen duty for the coming week.

As far as first kisses go, it wasn’t as bad as he had thought it would be.

●●●

Their second kiss sends Eren on an existential crisis.

It’s always been hard to reconcile this version of Levi – proper, well-put, and respectful of authority – with the infamous criminal rumored to have been able to bring the Military Police to its knees with just a flick of his finger. Cold and brutal, the eerie blankness of his face rivaled the lethalness of his speed and ruthless drive. 

Overcoming this fabled reputation had almost been impossible for Eren after being on the receiving end of eighteen consecutive blows, resulting on a lost tooth and a concussion. Not even a sincere and direct apology could assuage Eren’s constant flinching whenever the man would approach, but something else did.

Now, at this very moment on Christmas Day, _absurd_ is about the only way Eren can describe the situation; and if not, _adorable_ could definitely do the trick.

Uncertain about the hubbub, Eren lingers at the door, holding it open for his squadmates to drift out into the frigid morning air to practice their emergency drills. He’s rubbing his hands together in a desperate attempt to warm them when another hand grips his elbow tightly. 

“Sir?” Frowning, Eren shrinks into himself out of fear that he’s done something wrong.

All Levi does is lean upward, and press a kiss to Eren’s cheek.

At the flustered stammer, Levi simply angles his head upward in explanation. The sight of mistletoe warms Eren’s face, but the sensation of Levi’s lips pressed against his cheek warms his chest until long after he’s walked away without a word. It’s a gesture so tender and sweet, Eren has difficulty believing it ever happened at all.

●●●

Their next kiss, if one would call it that, is oddly fitting. It isn’t a kiss in the most traditional sense, but upon careful examination of the moment, Eren deduces that, yes, that was most definitely a kiss, and a profound one at that, once Levi’s standards for cleanliness are taken into consideration.

Eren feels hopeless, and it’s an ugly feeling that thrashes in his gut without any kind of mercy. The pain in his hands and arms isn’t worth entertaining, not when he’s failed so spectacularly. The hollowness in his chest is all-consuming at the thought of him being useless in the end. People have died to give him a chance. Humankind is counting on him. And the one thing he’s meant to do, he can’t bring himself to do it. Not because he doesn’t want to, he just can’t.

Bite after bite, he tore into his skin and tasted his own blood until he was nauseous. He yelled himself hoarse from both pain and frustration and even so he couldn’t transform. Under the watchful eye of his superiors, Eren withered and sobbed as he bite once more, and then again, and again, until Levi asked him to stop. It hadn’t been a command, just a calm request.

They give him space once he’s brought out of the well Hanji had placed him in, but he knows he isn’t truly alone. They can’t risk it. Eren can hear the snap of twigs behind him as he stumbles towards the more desolate parts of the castle grounds.

A cold gust makes the wounds on his hands sting wickedly, so he cradles them to his chest.

“Eren,” Levi says, startling him upright. Eren turns to him and tries to offer a nonchalant smile, but Levi isn’t having any of it. “Give me your hands.”

Long and pale fingers immediately fall upon the pristine cravat tied around his neck, untwisting it and loosening the knot until it comes away with a faint rustle. Hesitant, Eren holds out his hands simply because he doesn’t want to disobey a direct order. Part of him wants to snark Levi off, even if it means facing unfavorable consequences, but the remark dies on his tongue as he watches.

Once he’s folded the cravat into a neat square, Levi brings it up to his lips for reasons Eren can’t decipher, and then gently dabs it along the teeth marks on his hands, swabbing away the excess blood. Unease settles in Eren’s gut, obscuring the warmer feeling the gesture should be causing. Levi deliberately soiled something he always keeps on his person, something he keeps tied around his _neck_ , for the sake of tending to Eren’s wounds.

Eren’s never taken Levi for being uncaring, regardless of previous encounters done out of duty and show, but this is something new. This is personal, and Eren doesn’t know how to react to it. “I’ll heal,” he mutters, trying to pull his hand away before stopping when Levi grabs hold of his bloody wrist.

“Hold still.”

The winter chill makes Eren grimace, but he does as he’s told. Cold fingers are soothing against the hot sting of the wounds, so he figures it isn’t so bad. Levi falls into a hypnotizing rhythm as he dabs, swipes, and presses, and turns his arms over to do the same along the inside of his forearms. Skin knits itself together under his touch, and when Eren’s arms are fit to function, Levi hands him his cravat without a word and walks away. 

There isn’t an inch of the fabric that isn’t red, and while gruesome, Eren can’t help but smile to himself. 

Beneath all of the blood, Levi left a kiss, one that tended to Eren’s hands and arms until they had healed.

●●●

Their fourth kiss is awkward, but it puts a startling smile on Levi’s face despite the lethal claim to have him chained up for a week for disrespecting a commanding officer. Eren deserves it, no doubt about that, but it’s worth it.

He hadn’t seen Erwin hovering just around the corner of the hallway, exchanging a word with Hanji, when Eren noisily ran down the hall before skidding to a stop. Without thinking better of it, he grabs a fistful of Levi’s shirt – who looks far too engrossed in rearranging the papers on his clipboard – and pulls him in for a kiss to the cheek.

It’s quick, but Levi cusses loud enough to get everyone’s attention before Eren can pull away fully.

The silence that follows is only interrupted by Hanji’s attempt to hide a snicker behind her own clipboard when Erwin lifts an eyebrow.

“Not a word,” Levi snaps, but Eren is already too far away to hear anything else, his face ready to melt off from embarrassment.

●●●

As a prelude to their fifth kiss, the fourth one comes back to bite Eren on the ass.

After endless amounts of procrastination and a million scenarios gone wrong, Eren decides that he doesn’t have much to lose. The world’s gone to hell anyways, and every day they live might be their last; why not take that final step? Eren’s aware that he’s probably blowing the entire situation out of proportion, but there’s only so much someone his age can handle.

That’s how he finds himself here, sitting on the couch in Levi’s office, pretending to organize delayed reports by date.

It’s a bit past noon, and the heavy meal weighs down on Eren’s eyelids. That, along with his decision lingering in the back of his head, and the scratch of Levi’s pen on paper, makes it hard to concentrate on his given task.

“Sir?” Eren says, hesitantly, without looking up from his papers. He can still hear Levi writing, which means he’s either being ignored or being silently told to continue. He can never tell which silence meant what.

Exhaling loudly, Eren takes a more direct approach. “May I kiss you?” He regrets the question almost immediately, thinking that he should have phrased it another way. Perhaps Eren should have asked to be kissed, but that would have sounded childish. In turn, _may I kiss you_ sounds too forceful, too forward. _Kiss me_ would have been sexier, maybe, but he wouldn’t dream of ordering his corporal to do such a thing; that’s just stupid.

“You’ve had no qualm about taking them without permission this far,” Levi says, voice as flat as always.

Eren puts his papers down, looking up at Levi who is still ducked over his own work. “I mean a real kiss. You know…”he needs to stop himself right there, not finish the sentence if he values his life, “like couples do.”

No over-exaggerated reaction occurs as he’s been expecting, and he’s a little disappointed, mostly because there’s no reaction at all. Eren’s unsure as to why he pictured the situation going differently, but Levi ignoring him hurts more than it should. Of course he wouldn’t want to kiss Eren, who would? The only person who isn’t scared of kissing him is the one person who won’t even acknowledge him in a way unrelated to duty. It’s a depressing thought.

“What brought this on?”

Eren blinks, but Levi still isn’t looking at him. He hasn’t even stopped writing. “Nothing. I just felt like asking.”

Several minutes pass before Levi stops what he’s doing, and rubs at his temples with a sigh. It’s so uncharacteristic of him that Eren flinches, fearing that he’s finally pushed too far. He tries going back to his work, but Levi is now looking at him expectantly. “Well? Care to enlighten me on how couples kiss?” 

The question isn’t an invitation by any means, it’s a mockery. Eren wants to dig a hole and never come out of it again. “Never mind, sir. Forget I mentioned it.”

Levi hums, but it’s difficult to gauge what kind of hum it is. Be it amusement or annoyance, Eren can’t tell. “I’m bored,” he says simply, leaning back on his chair. “Humor me. Tell me how lovers kiss.”

The word _lovers_ spreads a familiar warmth along his chest, but he’s too humiliated to appreciate it. Indignation comes to life then, making Eren square off his shoulders at the taunt. “Please, don’t treat me like a child.”

“I’ll treat you as a child as long as you continue to act like one,” Levi says, all trace of what would’ve been amusement is gone. Eren learns that, with time, it becomes easier to read him through his eyes.

“I’m sorry…” Eren stops himself, afraid of saying that Levi is even capable of embarrassment. Instead, he chooses a more indirect method of apology. “I’m sorry for behaving the way I did yesterday. I should have thought it through.”

“Yes, you should have.” Eren hangs his head dejectedly. “But I want you to understand the reason why I am upset, brat.”

Scratching the back of his neck, Eren looks at him again, and nods his head. “I assumed it was because Commander Erwin was there.”

“I don’t give a shit about what Erwin and Hanji make of the situation.” Levi’s eyes are unnerving like this, unfathomable and unreadable. “The problem rests in you being too much of a stupid shithead to think about where you do these things.” The crude words make Eren sink into the couch, but he doesn’t argue. “The mess hall, a goddamned hallway. Eren, have you any idea who could have walked in on it?”

Confusion colors Eren’s thoughts. He’s only talking about the kisses Eren initiated, and he only just realizes the difference. Both times Levi kissed him, they were absolutely alone and without risk of being exposed. The underlying thought that Levi may be ashamed of being seen kissing him get his stomach into ugly knots.

“If anybody intending to cause the Scouting Legion harm were to see that, it would have been the end of us,” Levi carries on, still looking at Eren with muted intensity. “I need you to _understand_. A stunt like that could have cost me your custody, Eren.”

Back ramrod straight, and hands on his knees, Eren’s certain he looks like a chastised child. The thought had never even crossed his mind. The people who have taken him under their wing may be kind, but he sometimes forgets that the world isn’t just comprised of those fighting for humankind’s glory. He doesn’t even want to entertain the thought of falling into the hands of the Military Police. Execution may be on the plate, but what if he doesn’t die? What then? Will they get more creative?

“Come here,” Levi orders, and Eren doesn’t have it in him to protest. 

He feels like absolute crap for endangering their mission for the sake of a childish crush. Standing in front of Levi’s desk, Eren bows his head and awaits further orders; ones that never arrive.

“It was wrong of me to encourage you.” And he’s dead-serious, despite looking annoyed at having to admit he was wrong about something.

“Sir, don’t—”

“Don’t interrupt me.” It’s enough to get Eren to shut up for good. “This isn’t the time or the place to be acting like a love-struck teenager, so get your act together.”

It’s the most Levi has ever said to him in one go, and it’s probably the least thing Eren wants to hear. Breathing deep, crestfallen, he nods his head again. “Understood, sir.”

He doesn’t move when Levi turns back to his report, pen poised elegantly between his fingers. He watches the strokes and curves of ink reveal themselves across the page with the same expert precision Levi does everything with. Trust him to make something as mundane as writing look sophisticated.

Eren can already taste the regret on his tongue before he even speaks. “Maybe we can try in private?”

“No.”

Eren shuffles his feet. “Why not?” Aware he sounds petulant, he adds, “You’ve kissed me twice before.”

“Not the way you wish me to.”

“That’s not true!” Levi looks up at the outburst, his eyes flat. “I’ll take anything, sir. As… as long as it’s from you.”

For a brief second he thinks he’s won, that he’s finally gotten through to Levi, but he’s shot down yet again. “You’re dismissed.”

“But—”

“This conversation is over, in case you’re too much of an idiot to understand what _dismissed_ means.”

“It’s just a fucking kiss!” Eren is well aware that he’s pushing it far into hostile territory, and there’s only so much he can push until Levi ends it. His behavior is thoughtlessly stupid, and the amount of trouble he’s digging himself into will be harsh beyond measure. But there has to be something. Levi didn’t deny when Eren insinuated the whole cravat ordeal as a kiss, so it has to mean _something_.

“Why are you so worked up if it’s ‘just a fucking kiss’?” Levi shoots back, frighteningly cool. “You’re a goddamned kid. Go make out with some other brat your own age.”

“I’m afraid they lack the experience, sir,” Eren spits out, only to bite his tongue when Levi’s eyes widen almost comically. It’s a terrifying sight to behold.

The silence stretches out until Levi composes himself again, looking Eren over with a thoughtful expression that sends chills racing down his neck. The corner of his mouth is tipped upward into a barely visible smirk.

Eren has no idea where that even came from, considering that that isn’t the reason at all. He just _likes_ Levi; shouldn’t that be enough? The fact that he has years of experience under his belt sort of intimidates him, now that he thinks about it. Suddenly, the thought of making out with Levi doesn’t seem like too much of a good idea.

“I don’t see how I can benefit from this situation,” Levi says, and he’s teasing him. Eren can’t really believe it. “You get a story to tell your friends, and what about me? An arrest for feeling up a minor?”

The words leave Eren feeling mortified. “The legal age—”

“To join the military is twelve,” Levi interrupts, his eyes turning dark. “I don’t care what the law states; you’re still a kid by my standards.”

Eren will give this one final push, and then he’ll back off. “I fully understand your concern, sir. But I _can_ control myself. This doesn’t have to go any further than I’m already requesting.” His pride is wounded and his heart is more than a little broken, but just like everything in his body, those will eventually mend.

The chair creaks when Levi pushes himself up to his feet, hands planted on the desk as he stares Eren dead in the eye. It’s unnerving, but Eren refuses to back down. 

“You’re a fucking mess,” he says, and his voice is biting on vicious. “All limbs and brash attitude…” Levi’s voice pitches lower, and it’s quickly becoming hard to breathe. “You’re handsome, Eren, and strong, and too fucking young for me. One kiss, the slightest dab of tongue and I’m sure you’ll pop a boner that could poke an eye out.” Eren squeezes his legs together because it’s already too late; he doesn’t need a tongue to get him going. “It’s never just a kiss,” Levi murmurs, licking his lips, “because I won’t be able to hold myself back.”

The heated confession leaves Eren reeling where he stands, looking down at Levi unsurely. “No one has to know, sir.”

“That would be very irresponsible of me.”

An unknown thrill vibrates in Eren’s fingertips. “What happens if you don’t hold yourself back?” It’s hard to keep up with the conversation when they’re both leaning towards each other, Levi’s eyes flicking down to Eren’s mouth every once in a while. “What would you do?”

Levi, honest to god, _chuckles_. “I’ll tell you when you’re older,” he says, and his voice could send Eren to his knees, had it not been for their mouths meeting right there and then.

Eren moans shamelessly upon contact, a rush going through him and setting him alight with indescribable joy. It’s chaste and gentle, the way Levi brushes his lips over Eren’s with a degree of tenderness capable of making his chest hurt and heart quiver.

“Have you got my cravat?” he asks out of the blue once he pulls away. At Eren’s nod he says, “Good. I want you to keep it.”

Trying to act cool and adult-like, Eren nods. “I’ll keep it clean.”

Levi leans further across the desk, an impressive feat due to his height, and presses his mouth to Eren’s ear. “That rather defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?”

Despite being uncomfortably hard in his uniform, Eren doesn’t want Levi to ever to pull away. “Sir?” It’s shameful, but at this proximity, he can smell just how clean Levi is. The graceful slope of his ear is distracting.

When Levi chuckles, Eren gasps, as if the sound had been a physical touch he felt on his crotch.

“Whenever you get the urge to fuck with my head again, I want you to think back to this.” For one agonizing moment, Levi catches the bottom of Eren’s ear between his teeth and gives it a light tug. “Let those fantasies keep you company until you’re old enough to come to bed with me.”

It takes him a moment to understand just what Levi is insinuating, and when it hits him, Eren is sure his face is beet red. “Y-You want me to…” he leaves the sentence hanging, because saying the words ‘jerk off with your cravat’ out loud would be a little too much to handle.

Levi kisses him again, this time with very little restraint as he pushes in his tongue without preamble.

It’s a struggle to keep up with the wet strokes and the suckling on his bottom lip. He alternates between bold prods and gentle touches, twirls his tongue around Eren’s before sucking on it with gusto.

Eren closes his eyes, losing himself in the glorious sensations. His face is too hot and his hands are shaking, but hell if that’ll stop him. Levi’s going to town and Eren’s frolicking right behind him. He pushes their mouths closer together, and is surprised when Levi’s hand tangles itself in his hair, tugging to angle Eren’s head where he wants it.

Unaware of how such a thing can be possible, Levi deepens the kiss, turning it rough and desperate, enough to bruise. Eren can only cling to Levi’s jacket and hope he can keep up. There’s certain finesse to his movements however, despite the reckless abandon Levi’s thrown himself into. All Eren knows is that he wants to eat him; he never wants to let go.

Levi pulls away with a groan, panting heavily. “It pisses me off,” he growls softly against Eren’s lips, “the fact that you’re my fucking type.”

This time it’s Eren who pushes their mouths together desperately upon hearing the words. It’s all he ever wanted to hear.

The longer they stay latched onto to each other, the easier it is to see that there’s no real skill to what he and Levi are sharing. The methodical stroke and suck is lost in a frenzy of give-and-take with absolutely no rhyme or reason. Levi is taking what he can get, and giving Eren whatever he wants.

Now there’s two hands sinking into Eren’s scalp, and it takes a moment for Eren to realize that the repetitive buzzing in his ears is only himself, feverishly whispering Levi’s name over and over again as he rubs himself against the ledge of the desk. He should be ashamed of himself, but a soft whine keeps him from doing just that. He doesn’t ruin the moment by pointing out the obvious: that Levi, too, is shamelessly humping the edge of his desk, because having his tongue halfway down Eren’s throat is far too much for the both of them.

It’s overwhelming to think that someone as strong and stoic as Levi can become so utterly undone by lust and desire. It’s dangerously intoxicating. It makes Eren want to crawl out of his own skin and into Levi’s and just stay there forever.

The edge of the desk occasionally catches wrong, causing more pain than pleasure, but Eren isn’t fazed by it, not when Levi’s panting on his face, his eyes focused on Eren’s as he mutters a litany of profanities.

“Levi,” Eren manages to say, causing the hands on his hair to tug a little harder when the man moans. “Tell me, please…” Eren whimpers when Levi kisses him again. “Tell me what you’d do to me…”

Levi’s enticing gasp is something Eren will never forget, especially when he moves in to whisper into his ear. “One day, Eren. One day I’ll…”

Fire snaps inside Eren’s gut before Levi can even finish, leaving him short of breath as he whines Levi’s name once again. Their mouths slam together, reminiscent of the first time Eren tried to steal a kiss. It’s messy and obscene, positively filthy as they moan and grunt into each other’s mouths until well after they’ve both come in their pants.

Since Levi doesn’t let go of Eren’s hair or mouth, Eren doesn’t bother loosening his hold on the now wrinkled jacket.

The kissing has dwindled to soft pecks and hesitant presses of moist and bruised lips, but it is absolute bliss. Levi is pliant under his touch, his eyes soft as he indulges Eren for several minutes. If only for a moment, Eren can lie to himself, believing that they are indeed lovers sharing their first time together. He can worry about the stickiness in his pants later.

“I can’t recall when the last time I got laid was,” Levi says with a ghost of a smile gracing his face. “We shouldn’t have done that.”

Eren presses their mouths together once more. “We did nothing wrong.”

“I humped my desk like some hormonal teenager,” he says, looking disgusted.

“That’s your own fault, sir.”

Huffing, Levi presses their noses together, making Eren giggle. “Don’t get smart with me, Jaeger.”

The moment feels disjointed from the rest of reality, as sunlight filters in through the windows and basks the office in soft hues of orange. It’s peaceful, it almost feels right, and Eren desperately wants to stay in this tiny bubble where nothing can touch them.

“You kissed me twenty-nine times,” he says, smiling when Levi lifts his eyebrows. “I should whine more often.”

Levi flicks his nose with a scowl before straightening up and pulling away from the desk. “If you so much as think about cornering me like that again, you’ll be looking forward to double the cleaning duty for the next month, along with zero intervention whenever Hanji gets her grimy hands on you.”

Eren snorts, but nods. “Won’t happen again.” 

The smile is back when Levi steps close to him, resting his hands on Eren’s hips like a lover would do. “Listen to me,” he says, a hand coming up to cup Eren’s face. “This changes nothing regarding what was discussed here today.” Opposite of what his words dictate, Levi brings Eren down for yet another kiss. “But if you insist on making my life difficult, you come to my office. Do I make myself clear?”

A gush of pure delight compels Eren to hug Levi, but he refrains from further physical contact. He doesn’t want to kill the already wavering mood. “Perfectly.”

“Good. Now get the fuck out of my office so I can clean up.”

Eren’s laughter is bubbly to even his own ears, but Levi is smiling as well as he shuts the door on his face. “I’ll see you at supper, sir,” he calls through the door, gently rapping his fist before turning away towards the communal showers. The odds of having warm water at this hour are zero, but he really needs to get into fresh clothes.

Either way, for the first time in a very long while, Eren is happy.


End file.
